I have never been destined for the big leagues. I'm an overpowering five foot six inches with average to below average speed, very little pop in my bat, with a solid glove in the field. Nothing special, nothing elite. So I knew I was playing for more than that. I was playing for my love of the game. I was playing for the little kid who was the bat boy at every one of his father's high school games. I was playing for the kid that was the 12 year old hero to his peers. I was playing for the kid who was lucky enough to win a national championship. I was playing for the kid who lived it up under the lights on Friday nights in high school. I was playing for the kid who just wanted four more years of baseball in college. From all of that I became the man who gave his heart to the game he loved.
This blog/venting memoir/sappy post, whatever you want to call it, isn't just for me. It's for those just like me who had a part of their livelihood taken away from them. It is for those who are about to approach this point in their life. I can only tell my story, share my feelings, and send my thoughts to you.
For those who don't already know me. My life was baseball. My time outside of school and friends was baseball. My weekends, baseball. This game has always been a huge factor in my life.
My father was a high school baseball coach from when I came into this world until I was roughly 8 years old. If I wasn't at school I was either at his school at a practice or game, playing at my little league, or just spending all weekend at his field imitating his team's lineup while he did field work. After the games I would run the bases (my favorite part was sliding into home).
From that point my father became my coach. From the time I was eight years old, to when I was 14, our relationship was more than just father and son. These were the best years of my baseball career, which should tell you a lot. The memories of travel ball and little league will never fade. What I would do to drive to Concord one more time and play 4-5 games a weekend (sometimes more). What I would do to play one more game on Field #3 at Southwest Forsyth Little League. What I would do to suit up in a Clemmons Middle School uniform and win another middle school championship. Those are the memories that only baseball can bring you. Without baseball, I have no idea what Kyle Humphrey would've been doing today and where his life would've gone. Then there was High School Baseball. Ahh, nothing can compare to playing with your childhood friends, classmates, teammates under the lights. During high school season it seemed impossible there could be any bigger stage than that. Every team you play is your "arch rival." State playoffs were bigger than the actual World Series. Every year you thought you would make a run, you looked at the bracket and saw a path for you. We would lose before ever getting to the championship, the farthest we made it was third round. But that didn't matter because there was always next year and "oh, I have summer ball coming up." Until the day I didn't.
It was now time for college baseball. A place where I learned more about life than baseball. A place where I learned there was more to life than baseball. I went to a Division III school with no chance of me moving on to the next level, but the chance to play four more years. What I would give for four more. I never made All-Conference. I never was that "dude." I wasn't the player that I was in high school. I was playing with guys just like me and better than me now. And yes it was tough to swallow in the moment, but as I reflect, I wouldn't want it to be any other way.
This beautiful game gave me so much. It gave me great times and it gave me heartbreaks. It gave me trophies and it gave me injuries. I always loved the game even though it may not have always loved me back. I owed it that much because what Baseball gave me is something you can't quantify. So I say goodbye, just like some like me are and like others will soon do. I challenge every player, baseball or any sport, to remember why you play. Remember why you love it so much. For the baseball guys and softball girls I have a quote for you.
"You spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time."- Jim Bouton
